A Letter to Damaris, from the Rebel

by in Food Network Star, August 13, 2013

Food Network Star Season 9 WinnerHey, Damaris,

As I'm sure Bob, Susie, Alton, Giada and Bobby have already done so, I'd like to be the sixth person to welcome you to the Food Network family. I'm sure you'll fit in quite nicely, as we are all really just a bunch of food-obsessed kooks who like to entertain and have a good time.

Having been through the process, I know exactly what it takes to get where you are, and you've got it. Your poise during the Chopped challenge led me to believe you were a contender. Your pilot really sealed the deal. Your sense of humor is a perfect fit for our audience, and your optimism and good vibes just leap from the screen. Your POV is as solid as it gets. It is who you are: a teacher, a romantic and someone who isn't afraid to sing Bonnie Tyler karaoke after just one drink. Congratulations on finding the sweet spot between all of those Damarises. Also, as a dude who was chastised for winning the home ec award in middle school, I appreciate you championing the idea that everyone should love to cook for each other.

Congratulations on also having the largest gain in Twitter followers since the start of the competition. Interacting with fans is the name of the game. I look forward to seeing your "blue check" soon.

So what else is in store for you? Lemme tell you this: everything.

From here you will begin the process of developing a show, creating your brand and figuring out exactly who Damaris is — but on very valuable paper. Jay-Z once said, "I'm not a business man; I'm a business, man." The same applies for you. Don't be afraid to make the most of your new career in TV and beyond. You showed no signs of fear during 11 episodes of grueling competition. It should be a cakewalk from here.

Just so you know, you are about to meet thousands of people who can't speak, simply because you are in front of them. You may have to pay someone to escort you to public events just to hold strangers' cell phones and take pictures of you with them. Note: Do not ask your significant other to do this task in order to save a couple bucks. Trust me, the results are not cute.

Oh, one more thing: We're doing a demo together at the New York City Wine & Food Festival in October. Text me so we can go over the details.

Best of luck — even though you won't need it,


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Comments (65)

  1. guest says:

    YAWN. I didn't even bother to watch the finale....just checked it out now to see who won. The Paula Deen replacement; how original. Food Network, I'm done watching you. The only contestant's show I would have watched was Nikki with her "meat on the side". Finally something different, but it didn't stand a chance apparently.

  2. Lisa says:

    I agree with The Hawk that she is demeaning to men. They know how to cook and for her to assume and have that as a basis for her show is horrible! I wasn't a fan of Aarti either. Hope the both will fade away quietly. Unfortunately my computer was in the repair shop or I would have been voting as often as I could for the Pie Man!!

    • guest says:

      Well, at least you finally said who you are for. That tells us something.
      I don't believe Damaris was demeaning to men at all. No one is assuming all men don't know how to cook. They came to her, asking for help. There are plenty of people like that of all genders. Anyone can use her information on whoever they want. Too many people are constantly trying to find a reason that they can be offended, so they can make an issue where there is no issue.

  3. Brenda says:

    OH PLEASE!!!!! Couldn't you have picked someone better than her???? She acted so stupid and childish at times, and she was just plain BORING!!!!! I don't think I will ever watch another one of your episodes on Food Network Channel again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. G. I. Brassbottom says:


    Listen up, Maggots.
    YOU WILL be judged.
    YOU WILL be criticized.

    You want to Win? Then YOU are in-charge, of your own public persona, and what people think.
    You KNOW this, going in. You have no one to blame but yourself. Therefore, THINK before you submit your video.
    How do you look?
    How do you sound?
    What are you saying? Again, you have no one to blame but yourself. Do you really want to spend half the season trying to undo a bad perception of you? Then think ahead about how you will present yourself. The public WILL react to what YOU do! Act accordingly.
    It's YOUR reputation.
    Do you want to be seen as loud? Or a bully? Or a ditz? Or nervous? Or weird? Or stuck-up?
    It's up to you. Think ahead.
    Class dismissed.

  5. Wasn't too impressed with ANY of the contestants this year... Or last year... Or the year before... But of all the contestants presented this year, Damaris was the best of the bunch. No idea how Rodney even got that far. His show would have turned into another drinking game, just like the sandwich guy from a couple years ago. I'll actually check out here show though

    • guest says:

      Rodney was a joke. Imagine if they had people who were all talented. They might say it takes the drama away. I disagree. Since everyone is good and has a real shot at it, the suspense is good. We don't need any more contenders with tattoos from their wrists to their neck, or bald as a cue-ball, or with pierced nose and green hair. Also, if food network is going to have any contender at all next year who is vegetarian or healthy, then they better just put the fix in for them from the get-go and let them win, or else the whole entire season will be like a religious war of the true believers and those who aren't. And no one-trick pony's either.

      Next year I will be relentless in immediately calling-out the BS. Persistently. If I spend the entire blog-season with endless thumbs-downs, so be it. Thank God at least Damaris makes sense.